oxford.

i feel like a hole was punched through my chest.

i have a C in CLFM....

for keeps...

not as a joke because my professor hadn't put in 3/4 of our grades...

i missed 2 reading reflections throughout the semester... and it brought my grade down to a C...

i don't even understand how you could have your class weighted in that fashion... how unreasonable...

i got a B on my midterm...

i'm one of the most participatory students.

i did our entire Local/ Global need project on my own... literally NO ONE in my group did anything... i even had to email them a script so they would know what to say when they saw the powerpoint slides that they were assigned...

furthermore... there were quite a few words they mispronounced...

because unfortunately i didn't have the time to send them a recording of my voice READING them the script.

and i'm getting a C.

I have a 97 in Greek. I took two 400 level classes as a freshman and recieved A's...

and i have a C in CLFM.

a CLFM class that required NO PAPERS.

i don't even understand.

but what hurts so much...

is that i probably can't get into the Oxford program now.

which is why i chose APU.

i have wanted to go to Oxford since I was little....

and now the most likely opportunity to get me there... EVEN in settling for going for only a semester... i probably can't get in.

i know its my fault.

its no ones but my own.

my mom says she respects it... its my curse and my blessing.

i have a problem with the educational system in America.

i've been getting into tiffs with teachers since the 6th grade.

I can't bring myself to respect the jumping through hoops some teachers have you do.

If a teacher loves what they do... and asks me to spend tedious hours reading something i don't enjoy... ill do it..

but if they seem to not even value the class in which i find myself, if they care more about your header than whether you have written a smash-ass paper... i can't respect them.

my mother calls them bean counters.

being the daughter of two amaazing educators i just can't handle people who don't work hard at their job. who don't seem to think about what is the best way to get people to LEARN.

who would rather make a test thats easy for them to grade than one that allows students to best show their knowledge.

so i may not go to oxford.

i've never felt so in tune with my dad than now.

i'm so incredibly disapointed.

but if i don't get in...

ill apply for spring semester.